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I made this image last year (or maybe it was two years ago?) and I just found it on dropbox. Look at how happy I am.

I keep feeling like there's a cost to everything. I have always understood that you can't go one day without being encompassed by choices that will yield consequences, but it sucks when you can really feel it. Or to be precise with my words, it's discouraging when you feel weighed down by thinking about avoiding bad consequences. I think if I were my therapist, I'd say something to the effect of, "Well, how do you think you could reframe that so that it feels less discouraging?"

To which I'd respond, "Sometimes it's okay to just be overwhelmed and use thinking errors, okay? And I know you're going to say next(!)--"

"Sure it's okay to feel overwhelmed, but have thinking errors ever truly been helpful to you? Sometimes thinking errors can be the pathway to feeling overwh--"

"Shut up!"

I had this dream where I was in a collapsing building and I barely made it out alive. We held a banquet for all the survivors. Then as we were toasting to our survival (in a fancy building with huge windows with a great view to a war swept world outside), the toaster stopped to look out the north window. We all followed his eyes and saw planes flying upside down with dead passengers crashing into buildings all around us. One of those buildings was a tent that held medical personnel rescuing others from collapsing buildings. I didn't even feel panic about dying soon. I just felt this weight of despair that woke me up and it has lingered with me all day.