My boasting post

I was really antsy in church today. I couldn't sit still or stay awake or focus on anything for more than two minutes.

Knowing that all behaviors stem from thoughts and feelings, I pondered on why I was being such a spaz. But then I couldn't focus because I was thinking of all the things I needed to do today and this week. And then I had this urge to start pacing.

I am overwhelmed.

There is just too much to do and too little time.

I've never been this social in my life, or had so many opportunities to socialize that I didn't seek out on my own. Socialness has been thrust upon me and I don't know how to manage all of it.

I think I can appreciate the planned lunches and activities, but the spontaneous invitations are driving me crazy (because I can't say "no!"). And I get behind on things that I need to do.

Like me-time. I need me-time. Like, at least an hour of me-time a day. Just time to ponder, or read, or write, or do nothing.

Or spiritual time. I'm not getting much of that either.

And the more that I push me-time or spiritual time to the back-burner, I get more and more antsy.

I've ALSO fallen about 20 hours behind in my homework hours. (I only need FIVE homework hours a week to make up for the fact that my internship limits my hours to 29/week.) I honestly don't know what I'll do to make up for lost time.

Waaaah! I'm such a victim.

Just kidding. I really love my friends. I am so blessed to be loved and be surrounded by people who I happen to love as well. I just need to schedule better.

My mom says that people use social media to show off. Consider this my showing off blog.

Some cool experiences and cool people...

About 3 months ago, I got endowed. It was a healing balm to my soul and exactly what I needed at a conveniently devastating time.

That same week I went horseback riding for the first time with these amazing roommates (slash two sets of kind/loving grandparents of one roommate) who extended that healing even further.

We also did other things like try to catch chickens and ride old bikes. :)

Around the same time, I met an exceptional, swoon-worthy man who I definitely don't have feelings for anymore. He became unavailable before I really got to know him, so that ended. I've learned that that experience, though bitter-sweet, has been crucial to me not trying to get back together with my ex. I am SO grateful that I met him and I have a idea of what's out there. It's one thing to know on a cognitive level that there are better options, but it's another thing to have solid evidence right in front of you. Even if he's become this annoying ideal (that probably doesn't reflect reality anymore), I feel like I've been saved from deeper heartbreak and disappointment (and needlessly consumed time and energy).

Isn't this a cute puppy??

I went to a special storytelling party where we told stories around a bonfire, and I had the unique privilege of hearing a stranger's encounter with an odd disease and brain surgery.

I joined a dinner group and met new friends.

I practiced driving with my super generous roommate and later with a super generous friend.

I went on more adventures with the aforementioned roommates and got back into exploration mode. (A mode that has been curiously out of order for a couple years).

I reconnected with close friends on lunch dates/Netflix binges who may now be closer friends.

I had too few late night conversations with my now married roommate. :(

Oh Ruth. You provide the best contrast. Hahahahahaha I miss you so much.

I saw some movies with one of my best friends, including the unexpectedly gory Mad Max, the borderline intriguing Box Trolls, and the needlessly sensual Welcome to Me.

I trespassed the Widstoe days before it was demolished for good. And I made a friend in the process. :)

I went on a weekend retreat with these awesome girls in my cohort.

I went on more lunch dates with old friends.

Not actually during our lunch date--just a pleasant surprise this morning. :)

I went to my friend's choir concert and then explored the Springville Art Museum with another friend.

Another cool painting.

A roommate returned and so did sleep deprivation in the form of living room slumber parties, piss-smelling swamp cooler, and all the bugs (that could have crawled in our ears!!)

A day of wedding. So much wedding. And the first sealing I've been to--that was probably the best part. :)

And this cake was also the best part... I wish I took more photos that day.

I went to Inside Out and met a new adventure buddy! 

Look at us not taking the easy path.

My dear friends who left Utah last year returned two weeks ago, and it was like they never left. Oh how I wish they were here for just a little longer!  It was rejuvenating to have a day filled with effortless, unstructured talking. I felt so whole! Though spending individual time with friends can be so meaningful and fulfilling, spending time with a group of close friends felt...well, like heaven. (I'm sorry I use so many cliches. And so many "so's" and "just's." And starting sentences with "and.")

Then I hung out with those same friends and saw fireworks and played a drawn-out strategy game (I forgot the name of it... and I don't really care to know it... I'm pretty sure I'd only ever play it with them).

Later that night I stayed up til 3 playing Bang with those same friends. After which I received a much needed massage from my oh so talented, went-to-school-for-massage-therapy, light-saber/swordfight dancing, all sorts of nerdy friend. Thank goodness we've agreed to be friends again.


Last Thursday I went to an interfaith lecture given by an Orthodox Christian and thoroughly enjoyed being told I look twelve by a future seminary teacher. And then on the same day, I actually enjoyed hearing my friend's essay on Christian ideals of beauty.

I discovered a rock climbing buddy who happened to already be my friend!! How did this just fall into my lap so perfectly? I got exactly what I wanted soon after dropping the rock climbing class that I couldn't afford to take (A really hard decision to make, by the way). (AND she knows how to lead climb and is willing to teach me--something the rock climbing class was not going to go over.) I guess blessings come from being responsible.

  



This past weekend I went camping and made more friends!

I'm forgetting a ton of stuff, but I'm happy to have rediscovered friends. Even though I'm overwhelmed and really want to read a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and start this writing project I thought up, I have bonded with so many remarkable people and have participated in so many cool things. Those other things can wait for a little longer. Just SO sosososososo much goodness. And.