More about hope

So this semester has been tough. Like, really tough. I don't want to whine, but I also got a concussion Sunday night so I deserve a special holiday. I even got a doctor's note and everything.

[Insert image of pathetic looking horse]

I think something that has been especially tough for me is being pressured to be something I'm not. I'm not an outgoing person and if I don't connect with people after the first few encounters, I don't really try to move past acquaintance-ship even if we're coworkers. I've realized that with social work this is not an acceptable motto. Co-workers think that there is something wrong with you if you keep to yourself. (Sometimes clinicians pathologize everything).

I have tried so hard to be more social at my internship. Despite my efforts, I feel like I've already been put into a box for being more reserved. And I think my supervisor is putting all of these other character flaws into that box because deep down she knows she is not justified in disliking someone for being introverted.

But I do have support from the people who love me and from my Heavenly Father. Even some people at my internship can see that she's more corrective of me than other interns without good reason.

And despite everything else I haven't addressed, I have been blessed with scattered moments to float along before a new wave comes crashing over me.

You know, this metaphor reminds me of a connection I made awhile ago when I was reading through Ether. In Ether, the Lord commands the people to get on a ship that would be stuck underwater for large portions of time. They were prepared for this by the careful design of the ship and by the stones that would light the dark interior. You could say they were also prepared emotionally and spiritually: "I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea."

I presume the stormy weather was intentional--not necessarily for the sake of adding another trial to their load, but to expedite their journey. (Or maybe the ocean just needed to be tossed and turned at this point in history... (Like a salad... Or a boiling pot of stew... Who knows what the Lord is cookin' up.)) I doubt the people were thinking, "Why does the sea have to be particularly tempestuous for our journey? Can't he change that??" They probably were just willing to subject themselves to the will of the Lord, no questions asked. In fact, they praised the Lord night and day the whole journey!  For the moments that were tougher than normal, they cried unto the Lord:

7 And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.

In the Lord's mercy, he lets the ship break above the water every once in awhile (winds never ceasing) to let the people breathe. Even though this probably was essential for their survival (oxygen and all), I believe we can be metaphorically blessed with opportunities to just breathe in the midst of our trials. The Lord may not take away the trial completely, but sometimes he gives us little breaks to unwind and get a glimpse above the surface. It is much easier to keep going if we remember that he is sending the winds so that we can make it to our next destination (and quickly).